You can think for urself

Ok I know its been very very long time since I have actually wrote anything in my blog or anything for the matter….the least honest reason is that my house is being renovated and that the option on using the computer or the net for that matter is out of hand …the other very honest reason is that I’m lazy …yup lazy like u muhahaha …anyhoo I would just like to say something in random…..(p/s: actually don’t give a damm if u are reading this or not…)…
I was watching this movie The Terminal ….the movie about a guy who was stranded at the U S air port becoz his country was in war…..and spending 9 months at the air port and not being allowed to go out or step out within the air port for that matter. I mean living in air port…doing everything for that issue…..at the damm air port.
I was wondering what could have happened to me if I were to be at that position …that 9 months stranded at a foreign air port and doing nothing all day…I mean just think about if what if u are stuck at a air port of a non English speaking country…how are u gonna survive ….how are u gonna understand the laws…. life style and all that…being there u have no relation or anyone in that country that could help u out for that matter…..
Ok u must be thinking the law should helped…but if u have watched the movie it happened long time ago….where the rules or such law for that kind of cases haven’t come out yet…..what would u do….how can u stay there and just hope that ur family had survived the war…or worse died…..in that movie all the rules or that kind of cases haven’t been invented or reproduced ….so how could u help that person get in or out of the country is by doing it by secret ……and just imagine if what ever they tried to do to help ….u can’t seems to understand …no translator are allowed since u dun want that case to go out on public….and worse ruin the air port’s best prestigious…..that man have got lost or guts…confident …bravery and a heck of hope….i can’t possibly do that…..i would be devastated by the situation I’m in and also worried sick about my family back home….
The lady character in that movie is very sad at the same time.....um how shall I put it…”stuck”….she is stuck from her work…life and her confused lover…..at first I thought hey she is stupid for doing something like that….i mean she knows that man is married and not planning to divorce but still she keep up with him….and worse encourage him to don’t give up hope for the lover on his family….but how about her…don’t she love herself…..there was one phrase that she said “I’m 39 yet I still dun have a family of my own… children…or anything…..i’m just me …waiting and this pager …just waiting…for what I dunno”……sometimes I wonder if I would end up like her…..or any of us for that matter…could I would be so blind not to notice that I have ruin my life and just waiting for sumting that might not happen……
What would have come to our faith in everything perhaps run down the drain along with love self attitude…….don’t this question ever cross ur mind…..”what is the purpose of my life…..Y am I born…what is my very own reason for being on this earth. ?” If u guys still dun understand what I’m trying to say …lets put it this way….”Bil gates was born to make our life easier …intro us to the world of computer with “drag and drop” function”…..sum child are born to be what they are today…like Nicole and all the people’s name u have read in the newspaper (minus all the negative news)……this child might have born poor but look at them now….they have certainly reached what they are born to do or to be……but have u thought about what u might be in this part of the world…I mean its not that u should be sumone famous…but at least writing sumting for children ....and making a change in the world or maybe just around u for that matter….dun u just wonder….. if its true u were born in this world for a purpose what would urs be?....God must have send us to earth for sumting……it have to be a reason…we just have to find out what…so far I feel like I’m lost …I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing……I mean have u just sit down one day and just think about what u have done so far…..what have u done to impress ur parents and most importantly ur self……have u made up for ur purpose that u were meant to do….have u done it …still doing it or haven’t thought about it…..
Just for the record …I love writing….i can write almost about anything that cross my mind…but why didn’t I take journal or anything that makes me a writer course…..y I just dunno….i have always wanted to make something that would impress myself…people around me and maybe adding a bit of fun in what ever I do…..but y didn’t I take the course I wanted ……I just can’t answer that question expect the easy answer is that “u are a dork”….well maybe I am …but y didn’t I follow my heart…perhaps I would have found the purpose of my existence…..but I didn’t do it….could I have “slip up” my purpose of life…..or maybe the reason I didn’t take is becoz deep down I knew that I was not that good at it….or was it something else?
Once I have visited a website that requires help…..like I write down and then get the answer from a professional …its like a help letter…and I was viewing about sum people’s problems and then sum ting I saw caught my eyes…..Death…well u see I have been very sensitive about death…well the reason being …when I was small and was staying at a flat…almost all the time there would be deaths happening….and it have bothered be greatly…..Watching people crying…..mourning…death processions and all that made me sick to the stomach …I mean I didn’t mean any offence but that particular year there was lots and lots of death……..old people…young…teen …murder case accident case and etc….i was freaked…I didn’t realise that people can die at any age…didn’t know that death is something that happens to everyone at anytime….i was scared….especially when a small boy around my age died…when I saw his dead body … I totally freaked…..at first I acted normal…..then when night comes I was really was scared…..i was sacred to go to sleep …I’m guessing becoz..when I saw the boy in the small coffin….and his eyes were closed…it looked like he was sleeping…and thought if I had to go sleep I might never get up again…..i asked my parents what happens when we died and where we would go…when my mom said our body will be burn and perhaps our soul would go to heaven …didn’t help and it made things worse….i used to ask my mom don’t they feel pain when burning….my mom just shook the head…..it didn’t help either…I kept thinking about my death…my body being burn to ashes…never to see my parents or do anything……being alone was the worse part…..i cried every night and then my parents got worried……I am not very sure how I got over it but I am very sure I wasn’t 100% over it…..my uncle recent death …worried me again I couldn’t sleep for the past 5 days in a row…hated any smell of flowers and anything for that matter…..and then form then the question came ……if we all were to die one day then what is it that god wanted each of us to being to be born and then die….why would he do that kind of thing…u might say many answers but what the real truth is still left un answered…..what is his main reason for making us as who we are now and what are each and everyone’s purpose in the world….
The linking question above to the The Terminal is that…that guy is the reason there is such rules…… if ever such cases to ever happen again…he is the cause of the existence of the law…. .he was born to make a purpose right…it is not big or anything but it sure made a difference ….then u would think about the murdered cases …..people dieing in the hands of another instead of natural causes what about that right…well if there weren’t such victims …..we won’t have found out about DNA…CAT scan and all the newest and latest gadget that was invented to help investigate a crime…if it wasn’t for the dead victim. we won’t have thought of DNA and all right…if we were to just die of natural causes then we would never understand the DNA and understand about ourselves….Most of the phenomenon comes form something right…..I mean if we not have crash or had accident we would never have thought of seat belts ….air bag and all right?…each of the victims makes a difference even if it cause their life…..but it sure as hell made a lot of difference…..if everything were to go right or perfect then we would possibly stay the same forever ….if u were to question….. what about the bad guys right….they too have a purpose …being born in to what their have become….. then they too have their own purpose….if it wasn’t for the bad guys then we would not have think about electric chair….new rules and law ….they had a purpose on making our life better and saver for all….even if it means doing bad and harm…what I am trying to say is that we all are born to do something….we all have a core purpose…. but it is up to us to find it and make the difference….wouldn’t u agree…take some time to think about it…it will heck surprise….. on how u can reflect and judge on the thinks I just said…most importantly it will surprise u how well ur brain works ……but that is another story.